The Early Days of a Micropremie
Day 2.I am tucked into a soft nest of blankets. It is dark; the hum of my bed vibrates under me. I can hear her. I always heard her before; her muffled voice talking and laughing, sometimes weeping, her heartbeat drumming. My mother. Something is stroking me; tickling me. There is another voice and the tickling stops. Then hands cover me; cupping my head and pressing against my feet. Like the walls from before but dry and cooler. It's her voice again. She is comforting me. My arms are moved. I feel something with my hands. I feel my hands at my mouth. I suck on the hard tube in my mouth. I feel my heartbeat in my chest. The air continues to whoosh in and out; the machine is breathing for me. Something wet wipes my eyes and my mouth. Something is put in my mouth and the thick fluid that gums up my throat is sucked out with a loud noise that fills my head. My feet are lifted pulling me off the bed; my bottom feels a cool wetness. My legs are pushed against my chest while something is slipped under me. I feel the pressure of blood rushing to my head. Then my legs are released and flop down on the bed while something is wrapped around my waist again. It is a tightness I am not used to yet. My legs feel pushed apart by the thickness between them. My head is turned. My body as well. The tube in my mouth and chest is moving; something is sticking me in my chest, irritating me before all the air is sucked out of my chest. The air rushes back in as the machine breaths for me. My heartbeat gets faster. Things feel all mixed up and tired in my head. The top comes down again. I hear her again, my mother. And he is there, too. I hear their voices whispering. The top is up and the lights are dim. There are many people around, moving quietly or just standing there. I feel fuzzy but I know someone is holding the tube in my mouth and I am being lifted. I feel myself lifted and then put down. My face is resting against warm skin. Hands are moving me, tucking me in, and then I am covered with a blanket. I can hear my mother's heart beat and feel her breath on my cheek. The other people go away. Dad is talking softly to me and to her. Mom is moving under me, gently, up and down. I open my eyes and I can see my father's face close to mine. I feel his hand on my back and my mother's on my bottom. I am warm. I feel my heart beat, faster but in rhythm with my mother's. I go to sleep. My diaper is being changed. I didn't notice when I was put back in my bed. It is dark and warm. I go to sleep. The side door opens and the sounds and light and air come in at me. I see hands. My nurse's hands this time; I can hear her voice. She is working with the lines to my belly. The cover over top comes off and it is bright. I tighten my face up as the light hurts my eyes. The nurse's hands come back in. Things are stuck next to my eyes and I close my eyes as they are covered. My skin feels pulled towards my eyes. I sense an even brighter light coming from around the edges of the mask over my eyes. back to top |
